The morning was crisp and calm.
I helped pile wood on the fire to heat the 27 stones for the lodge. I didn't understand the significance of most of the stuff that was placed on the altar outside of the lodge, but some things, like a cycle chain and some spent shell casings seemed to be about the boss and me.
I couldn't shake the two ideas running around my gut. One was the dread I'd been living with since we got to the valley. The dread of being in a holy place, and worse, being about to engage in a religious ritual in this holy place, had my stomach in knots. The tension had been building, but at least when I was working I had something else to keep me busy. Now I had nothing to distract me from how much I didn't want to be here for this.
The other thought involved knowing that the boss might be helped by this and that I owed him too much not to try for his sake. I kept thinking about what he'd been like just a few weeks ago and what he was reduced to now and some part of me knew that if this didn't work we might never get the old Owen back.
Small Buck had warned me that I should drink plenty of water, but take no food before the ceremony. With the shape my stomach was in, this wasn't a sacrifice.
We purified ourselves before entering the lodge, stripping naked and entering in order. Sacred Raven opened the door flap, ducked inside and called out "All my relations". The boss went next, moving with the same apathetic zombie shuffle that I'd seen when Sacred Raven cooled him out after the battle. His hip was discolored but I could not see any bullet scar.
Small Buck went in next and then it was my turn. I took a deep breathe and entered.
"Touched by Spirits sits north of the pit" Sacred Raven said "North is physical. Cold winds of winter teach strength and endurance. We learn courage to endure from the north wind."
"Thomas Small Buck sits east of the pit. East is learning. As the Sun brings the light of knowledge each day, wisdom and patience are of the East. Who leads the people must have the things of the east." Sacred Raven said "It is the seat of the chief." As Small Buck nodded and took his seat, I saw him in a new light and suddenly understood the deference that Red Sky had shown him. His leadership was so complete that I'd never heard him make any noise like somebody important..
"Strong Hands Travels" the shaman continued, "sits south of the pit. South is growth. South brings warmth and rain to grow crops. South bring us together. It is harmony, balance and community." I swallowed hard as I took my seat.
"Sacred Raven sits west of the pit." the old man announced. "West is the far place. West is where the Sun pushes his brothers from the sky. It is where Sun sleeps. It is the holy place where all must go."
As soon as he was seated, the old man asked "but where is the grandfather?" The door was raised and a red hot stone was rolled in at the end of a set of deer antlers. "Welcome Grandfather" we all said in unison as Sacred Raven guided the stone to the pit. I was surprised but pleased to see the boss was not so out of it that he missed the ceremonial greeting or screwed up in the application of the cedar to the grandfather. Small Buck applied some sage and I put some sweetgrass on the stone. All the fragrances immediately vaporized and the heat began to grow.
Twenty six stones later when the door flap was closed, I was already sweatting like mad. Sacred Raven began his chant and Small Buck began drumming. After honoring all four directions the Shaman poured a ladle of water on the stones and we were instantly enveloped in steam. I devoted my full efforts to not passing out.
Now, a little known fact about garages, particularly the ones that I've worked at, is that they have no AC. Most are basically concrete walls floors and ceilings with a big door on one side. This does not make for great, or in fact, any, ventilation. So when I say I've spent time in sweat boxes before, you understand I know what I'm talking about. Well, give me your standard 120-degrees-and-no-ventilation, dog-days-of-summer, knuckle-busting, half-blind-from-the-sweat-in-your-eyes trany rebuild to a sweat lodge ceremony every day of the week and twice on sundays.
The next several hours passed in a dehydrated haze. It was hot. Unbearably, intolerably, suffocatingly, hot. I know that the door opened 4 times because the first three times it was only Small Buck's head shake to let me lnow we weren't done yet that kept me from bolting. (Read use every ounce of strength to crawl out on hands and knees) I know that the talking stick kept circulating as each of us told our heat-exhaustion enduced halucinations/visions/dreams.
Look, you know I'm no good with religious stuff. On top of that, I must have dropped like 10 lbs in water weight from the heat. So when I say that the things I saw were really vivid and clear but I have no friggin idea what they meant and trying to describe them just doesn't make any sense, you know why. So I ain't gonna even try. Since the boss was the reason we were there in the first place, I'll tell you what he said::
First Round
"I'm floating. Everything around me is indistinct, blurred. Except above me. Up is so bright its painful. There are no smells and sound is..... distant, too...base. Vibrations instead of sounds. I want to get up into the bright, but I can't. I can't breathe when I try. I keep trying but its always the same... no breath."
Second Round
"I'm building something. I'm in a workshop and I'm trying to do something to a piece of wood. It's very simple, but I keep picking up the wrong tool. I want to cut the wood but I'm trying to do it with a hammer. I see its a hammer but I keep trying to cut anyway. Then I pick up a saw, but I'm trying to drill a hole. I keep grabbing tools but I always seem to be doing a job that wants a different tool.
Third Round
"I am in battle. My opponent knows all my moves. Everything I attempt he anticipates perfectly. He taunts me, telling me the art and move I will try next before I can think of it. I....I can't see his face somehow but he slaps me at will. He overcomes any defense. I....I cannot center myself. He beats me harder and harder. I can't even defend myself. The more I retreat the more enraged he becomes, kicking, punching, beating me senseless. I want to pass out but I can't....I start crying like a child and then his sword flashes through me. I hear the echo of ugly laughter."
In the final round we were all struggling. It was tough to even breathe, but when the talking stick was passed to Owen, what he said and the way he said it made the hair stand up on everybody's neck. When he started I saw this resigned look in Small Buck's eyes. It suddenly hit me that he and Sacred Raven had expected this and were about to call for Red Sky to do his thing.. In a voice that can only be described as otherworldly, Owen said:
"I'm in a new place. Its filled with silly little creatures. I show them my power and they worship me. They beg for their lives, for my favor, for my blessing. I am a god! They drag huge cut stones hundreds of miles to build monuments to me but even that becomes boring. Unmaking them in new ways is amusing for a while, but it is time consuming. The same is true for compelling absolute obedience. I create the scourge and staff. They are the symbols of my power. I invest them with portion of my my essence so that ruling and unmaking do not require effort.
As Owen was speaking he seemed to expel a purple/black glow. Not like a cloud of gas exactly but not a trick of light either. Just a sort of sickly looking purple glow which deepened every second.
"Others come." He continued. (Now the timbre of his voice sounded like the distortion of a voice mask.) "They work against me. I send armies of my creatures against them. I am betrayed!! My Rage is Blinding! I destroy on sight. I pull down mountains in my fury! I search for my tools but even they are denied me! My fury leaves me weak. In this moment of weakness I am trapped. I.....I ....I WILL KILL YOU ALL!" This was no dream tale. The four of us were being directly addresssed by a malign pressence. My nuts shriveled as the threats continued "YOU WILL SUFFER YEARS OF TORMENT!! YOUR SUFFERING SHALL BE SPOKEN OF WITH DREAD IN HELL ITSELF!! YOU WILL....."
"ENOUGH!" Boomed a double voice in answer. "YOU WILL BE GONE FROM THIS HOLY PLACE! YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE" I looked for the source of this new voice of power and saw Sacred Raven surrounded by an impossibly bright nimbus in the shape of a giant bird. Somehow The shaman was towering over us in a lodge that was a hundred feet high and still could barely contain the fierce bird. I almost saw (Felt? Sensed?) the other giant animal shapes of light arrayed behind the bird as their glow grew and grew. "BEGONE" the double voice commanded. There was a sudden thunderclap. When my vision came back into focus the patch of darkness was gone.
My senses must have overloaded. Even though I really wanted to be unconscious I still heard the powerful voice of Crow talking to the two people who were not laid out flat. It still had the awe inspiring power, but now it lacked Sacred Raven's echo and was gentle, with a touch of pride. "You have done well, my children. You please me. Prepare. Sacred Raven journeys to the west soon. Smoke the pipe with these who are not of the people. Talk of their visions and speed them on their path. Their time among the people is ending."
I felt the door flap thrown open and heard Small Buck shout "All My Relations". Suddenly I found myself laying in the grass outside the lodge as a cool breeze played over me. I thought I had been taken to heaven. When my eyes focused I saw the boss helping me up to offer me a ladle of cool water and I grinned at him like an idiot. Man! It suddenly felt so good to be alive. He grinned back at me and I saw a glimpse of the boss I knew.
I swear the feeling of the air on my skin, the taste of the cool water, the smell of the grass....it made me know, deep-down-in- my-bones know, that I was alive and that life was so sweet. I just laid back and watched the clouds roll by.
After too short a time, Small Buck and Sacred Raven joined us. All of us shared that ain't-life-grand idiot grin. We looked like a pack of Brooders. We even laughed at nothing for a couple of minutes just because it was so good to be alive. Eventually Sacred Raven said "Let us smoke the pipe and talk, my brothers."
We threw on some clothes and then sat around talking. We covered a lot. We talked about each man's vision and what they meant. We were their guests and they held the sweat lodge ceremony to help us, so it wouldn't be right to talk about Sacred Raven or Small Buck's visions. And I sure as hell ain't gonna tell you about mine. The Boss' dreams though, had some really interesting interpertations.
"Touched by Spirits," Sacred Raven asked, "Why are you an unhappy fish?"
While the boss took the pipe and puffed, I thought about his first vision. I had to agree that Owen had kind of described a fish's view of the world.
"You seek to be a bird and live in the sky." The old man continued, "Why can you not be the fish you are and live in the water.?"
"I was forced to be a fish." Owen responded after some consideration, "As a child, I was made into a 'cold fish' so that I might do violence without regret. I am sick of killing. Now I wish to 'fly' from that life."
"The wolf cannot live on grass" Small Buck said, "the rabbit cannot live on meat."
"So you say I am a wolf trying to be rabbit?" the boss asked.
"Touched By Spirits", Sacred Raven cut in, "Why can you do no work?"
"I have the wrong tools." the boss responded.
"You have all the tools you need," the old shaman said, "You use them for work that is not in them."
We passed the pipe around and then I blurted out "In that third vision, boss, were you fighting against you? You're the only guy I can imagine who'd know what your next move would be in a fight, much less always have the perfect countermove."
Sacred Raven dipped his head to me and Small Buck gave me a quiet smile as I realized I had stumbled on the truth while fully participating in the ritual.
Owen got that faraway look in his eye that meant he was seriously considering what I had said.
After a few minutes of silent contemplation Small Buck smiled and said "Come, my brothers. Let us eat and drink and tell stories. Tomorrow's noon sun must see you gone from the people."
This story is copyright of the author. Shadowrun was a Registered Trademark of FASA Corporation until they went busto foldo. Now Wizkids LLC owns it. Or possibly FanPro. Or some other dragon owned subsidiary. Whoever holds the trademark, they didn't call and tell me it was ok to write this, and anybody who says I said that is full of it. I'm not challenging any of the rights or trademarks of anybody who own's them, whoever they are. I'm just writing stories. Honest. Thank you for not litigating.
I helped pile wood on the fire to heat the 27 stones for the lodge. I didn't understand the significance of most of the stuff that was placed on the altar outside of the lodge, but some things, like a cycle chain and some spent shell casings seemed to be about the boss and me.
I couldn't shake the two ideas running around my gut. One was the dread I'd been living with since we got to the valley. The dread of being in a holy place, and worse, being about to engage in a religious ritual in this holy place, had my stomach in knots. The tension had been building, but at least when I was working I had something else to keep me busy. Now I had nothing to distract me from how much I didn't want to be here for this.
The other thought involved knowing that the boss might be helped by this and that I owed him too much not to try for his sake. I kept thinking about what he'd been like just a few weeks ago and what he was reduced to now and some part of me knew that if this didn't work we might never get the old Owen back.
Small Buck had warned me that I should drink plenty of water, but take no food before the ceremony. With the shape my stomach was in, this wasn't a sacrifice.
We purified ourselves before entering the lodge, stripping naked and entering in order. Sacred Raven opened the door flap, ducked inside and called out "All my relations". The boss went next, moving with the same apathetic zombie shuffle that I'd seen when Sacred Raven cooled him out after the battle. His hip was discolored but I could not see any bullet scar.
Small Buck went in next and then it was my turn. I took a deep breathe and entered.
"Touched by Spirits sits north of the pit" Sacred Raven said "North is physical. Cold winds of winter teach strength and endurance. We learn courage to endure from the north wind."
"Thomas Small Buck sits east of the pit. East is learning. As the Sun brings the light of knowledge each day, wisdom and patience are of the East. Who leads the people must have the things of the east." Sacred Raven said "It is the seat of the chief." As Small Buck nodded and took his seat, I saw him in a new light and suddenly understood the deference that Red Sky had shown him. His leadership was so complete that I'd never heard him make any noise like somebody important..
"Strong Hands Travels" the shaman continued, "sits south of the pit. South is growth. South brings warmth and rain to grow crops. South bring us together. It is harmony, balance and community." I swallowed hard as I took my seat.
"Sacred Raven sits west of the pit." the old man announced. "West is the far place. West is where the Sun pushes his brothers from the sky. It is where Sun sleeps. It is the holy place where all must go."
As soon as he was seated, the old man asked "but where is the grandfather?" The door was raised and a red hot stone was rolled in at the end of a set of deer antlers. "Welcome Grandfather" we all said in unison as Sacred Raven guided the stone to the pit. I was surprised but pleased to see the boss was not so out of it that he missed the ceremonial greeting or screwed up in the application of the cedar to the grandfather. Small Buck applied some sage and I put some sweetgrass on the stone. All the fragrances immediately vaporized and the heat began to grow.
Twenty six stones later when the door flap was closed, I was already sweatting like mad. Sacred Raven began his chant and Small Buck began drumming. After honoring all four directions the Shaman poured a ladle of water on the stones and we were instantly enveloped in steam. I devoted my full efforts to not passing out.
Now, a little known fact about garages, particularly the ones that I've worked at, is that they have no AC. Most are basically concrete walls floors and ceilings with a big door on one side. This does not make for great, or in fact, any, ventilation. So when I say I've spent time in sweat boxes before, you understand I know what I'm talking about. Well, give me your standard 120-degrees-and-no-ventilation, dog-days-of-summer, knuckle-busting, half-blind-from-the-sweat-in-your-eyes trany rebuild to a sweat lodge ceremony every day of the week and twice on sundays.
The next several hours passed in a dehydrated haze. It was hot. Unbearably, intolerably, suffocatingly, hot. I know that the door opened 4 times because the first three times it was only Small Buck's head shake to let me lnow we weren't done yet that kept me from bolting. (Read use every ounce of strength to crawl out on hands and knees) I know that the talking stick kept circulating as each of us told our heat-exhaustion enduced halucinations/visions/dreams.
Look, you know I'm no good with religious stuff. On top of that, I must have dropped like 10 lbs in water weight from the heat. So when I say that the things I saw were really vivid and clear but I have no friggin idea what they meant and trying to describe them just doesn't make any sense, you know why. So I ain't gonna even try. Since the boss was the reason we were there in the first place, I'll tell you what he said::
First Round
"I'm floating. Everything around me is indistinct, blurred. Except above me. Up is so bright its painful. There are no smells and sound is..... distant, too...base. Vibrations instead of sounds. I want to get up into the bright, but I can't. I can't breathe when I try. I keep trying but its always the same... no breath."
Second Round
"I'm building something. I'm in a workshop and I'm trying to do something to a piece of wood. It's very simple, but I keep picking up the wrong tool. I want to cut the wood but I'm trying to do it with a hammer. I see its a hammer but I keep trying to cut anyway. Then I pick up a saw, but I'm trying to drill a hole. I keep grabbing tools but I always seem to be doing a job that wants a different tool.
Third Round
"I am in battle. My opponent knows all my moves. Everything I attempt he anticipates perfectly. He taunts me, telling me the art and move I will try next before I can think of it. I....I can't see his face somehow but he slaps me at will. He overcomes any defense. I....I cannot center myself. He beats me harder and harder. I can't even defend myself. The more I retreat the more enraged he becomes, kicking, punching, beating me senseless. I want to pass out but I can't....I start crying like a child and then his sword flashes through me. I hear the echo of ugly laughter."
In the final round we were all struggling. It was tough to even breathe, but when the talking stick was passed to Owen, what he said and the way he said it made the hair stand up on everybody's neck. When he started I saw this resigned look in Small Buck's eyes. It suddenly hit me that he and Sacred Raven had expected this and were about to call for Red Sky to do his thing.. In a voice that can only be described as otherworldly, Owen said:
"I'm in a new place. Its filled with silly little creatures. I show them my power and they worship me. They beg for their lives, for my favor, for my blessing. I am a god! They drag huge cut stones hundreds of miles to build monuments to me but even that becomes boring. Unmaking them in new ways is amusing for a while, but it is time consuming. The same is true for compelling absolute obedience. I create the scourge and staff. They are the symbols of my power. I invest them with portion of my my essence so that ruling and unmaking do not require effort.
As Owen was speaking he seemed to expel a purple/black glow. Not like a cloud of gas exactly but not a trick of light either. Just a sort of sickly looking purple glow which deepened every second.
"Others come." He continued. (Now the timbre of his voice sounded like the distortion of a voice mask.) "They work against me. I send armies of my creatures against them. I am betrayed!! My Rage is Blinding! I destroy on sight. I pull down mountains in my fury! I search for my tools but even they are denied me! My fury leaves me weak. In this moment of weakness I am trapped. I.....I ....I WILL KILL YOU ALL!" This was no dream tale. The four of us were being directly addresssed by a malign pressence. My nuts shriveled as the threats continued "YOU WILL SUFFER YEARS OF TORMENT!! YOUR SUFFERING SHALL BE SPOKEN OF WITH DREAD IN HELL ITSELF!! YOU WILL....."
"ENOUGH!" Boomed a double voice in answer. "YOU WILL BE GONE FROM THIS HOLY PLACE! YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE" I looked for the source of this new voice of power and saw Sacred Raven surrounded by an impossibly bright nimbus in the shape of a giant bird. Somehow The shaman was towering over us in a lodge that was a hundred feet high and still could barely contain the fierce bird. I almost saw (Felt? Sensed?) the other giant animal shapes of light arrayed behind the bird as their glow grew and grew. "BEGONE" the double voice commanded. There was a sudden thunderclap. When my vision came back into focus the patch of darkness was gone.
My senses must have overloaded. Even though I really wanted to be unconscious I still heard the powerful voice of Crow talking to the two people who were not laid out flat. It still had the awe inspiring power, but now it lacked Sacred Raven's echo and was gentle, with a touch of pride. "You have done well, my children. You please me. Prepare. Sacred Raven journeys to the west soon. Smoke the pipe with these who are not of the people. Talk of their visions and speed them on their path. Their time among the people is ending."
I felt the door flap thrown open and heard Small Buck shout "All My Relations". Suddenly I found myself laying in the grass outside the lodge as a cool breeze played over me. I thought I had been taken to heaven. When my eyes focused I saw the boss helping me up to offer me a ladle of cool water and I grinned at him like an idiot. Man! It suddenly felt so good to be alive. He grinned back at me and I saw a glimpse of the boss I knew.
I swear the feeling of the air on my skin, the taste of the cool water, the smell of the grass....it made me know, deep-down-in- my-bones know, that I was alive and that life was so sweet. I just laid back and watched the clouds roll by.
After too short a time, Small Buck and Sacred Raven joined us. All of us shared that ain't-life-grand idiot grin. We looked like a pack of Brooders. We even laughed at nothing for a couple of minutes just because it was so good to be alive. Eventually Sacred Raven said "Let us smoke the pipe and talk, my brothers."
We threw on some clothes and then sat around talking. We covered a lot. We talked about each man's vision and what they meant. We were their guests and they held the sweat lodge ceremony to help us, so it wouldn't be right to talk about Sacred Raven or Small Buck's visions. And I sure as hell ain't gonna tell you about mine. The Boss' dreams though, had some really interesting interpertations.
"Touched by Spirits," Sacred Raven asked, "Why are you an unhappy fish?"
While the boss took the pipe and puffed, I thought about his first vision. I had to agree that Owen had kind of described a fish's view of the world.
"You seek to be a bird and live in the sky." The old man continued, "Why can you not be the fish you are and live in the water.?"
"I was forced to be a fish." Owen responded after some consideration, "As a child, I was made into a 'cold fish' so that I might do violence without regret. I am sick of killing. Now I wish to 'fly' from that life."
"The wolf cannot live on grass" Small Buck said, "the rabbit cannot live on meat."
"So you say I am a wolf trying to be rabbit?" the boss asked.
"Touched By Spirits", Sacred Raven cut in, "Why can you do no work?"
"I have the wrong tools." the boss responded.
"You have all the tools you need," the old shaman said, "You use them for work that is not in them."
We passed the pipe around and then I blurted out "In that third vision, boss, were you fighting against you? You're the only guy I can imagine who'd know what your next move would be in a fight, much less always have the perfect countermove."
Sacred Raven dipped his head to me and Small Buck gave me a quiet smile as I realized I had stumbled on the truth while fully participating in the ritual.
Owen got that faraway look in his eye that meant he was seriously considering what I had said.
After a few minutes of silent contemplation Small Buck smiled and said "Come, my brothers. Let us eat and drink and tell stories. Tomorrow's noon sun must see you gone from the people."
This story is copyright of the author. Shadowrun was a Registered Trademark of FASA Corporation until they went busto foldo. Now Wizkids LLC owns it. Or possibly FanPro. Or some other dragon owned subsidiary. Whoever holds the trademark, they didn't call and tell me it was ok to write this, and anybody who says I said that is full of it. I'm not challenging any of the rights or trademarks of anybody who own's them, whoever they are. I'm just writing stories. Honest. Thank you for not litigating.
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